WOMAN

Here I stand

searching in the eyes of handsome strangers

for acceptance.

Hoping their presence

would mask the absence

of a life without balance.

Believing that they would look pass my faults

pierce though the outer bodily shell and penetrate right to the heart.

Love me

intrinsically

for me.

Strangers

who want not nor know not that:

love is eternal

Strangers

who cared not for how fragile I was.

Whose hungry eyes had grown accustomed to readily

seeing me as a feast.

Always to be known as a piece of meat

to be groped and plucked

by dirty, unwashed hands.

Made to sit on slimy plates

As he 

sunk in cutting deep.

Each cut damaging

the very fibers of my soul;

shattering pieces of what was once whole.

Baked and boiled and made to sit and simmer

consuming the                                                                        

heat

the

heat 

of his compressing body

sweating a lifetime of insecurities,

from his pores into my skin

onto my bare breast.

Mingled with tears

that glided down my face

as he entered my flesh,

without rhyme or reason.

Grunted moans

blocked my silent cries.

His ecstasy

my pain.

“I- I love you”, a whispered lie

from between sharp teeth’s

sinking, biting into my neck.

Drawing not blood

but pieces of my girlhood.

Already stolen and ravaged by boyfriends

who came, before.

Eager for their attention

needing their affection

I relished in being called their girl.

And the sex was just a part of it

as insignificant

constant

as a kiss on the lips.

Not because I loved them

but because I wanted to be loved by them.

And the physical deed

was just a way to receive it.

Till one day I said no more

I am not just a wet hole to plant your future seeds

and humbly be subjugated to fulfilling your feeble needs.

I am, Woman

I am, Woman

Ndi Mukazi

Tuli Bakazi

I am, Woman

A paradox of truth

borne out a lifetime of lies.